New Year...

For the past couple of days... I've been revisiting my past, a daring adventure... an adventure I haven't taken in a while. For some reason at this time of the year I revisit... It's a time where I visit places that have never been healed, or places of joy, or places that are now bittersweet. It's a time of reflection!

This time, for some reason, it has been the hardest but, I believe it is because of where my life is at the moment. It's abounding in blessing, promises are blooming and the relationships around me are amazing! I've come to the understanding that...outstanding times in life are just interwoven with trials...David's life is a perfect example.

My other belief for this challenging reflection time is that, its just that time to officially say goodbye to parts of my past. Things that have caused pain, or dreams that are no longer meant to be... you see I'm a deep person, so I don't let go easily... because soon as a word, action, person, thing, gets close to me..  it stays close.. and its incredibly hard to let it go. I guess that's why it takes me so long to let someone in, because I am afraid of the outcome of the situation afterward. It's a trusting issue I know but, you see... I just love, and love is so hard to live, when everywhere around you is encouraging the exact opposite, death.
So when I love, and a not very loving response is given... I get cut to the core. I need to forgive yes, which you can trust that this is something I'm working on but, I do want people to understand that because I love, and feeling as been revived because of passionate relationship with Christ I feel more deeply... because people are not just people and words are not just words to me but, things that make life worth while!

This is why its been so hard but, honestly I'm excited about the pain of this recovery... because out of pain comes beauty, an beauty is one of the most important things in this world. Which is something I've learned in my small life span. I'm excited for the New Year... I know if healing and pain at the beginning than... New life and beauty will be at it end, and in amazing abundances!

To the New Year... 2012!