My Testimony

                                                  (A photo taken on a car ride in Mexico)


So many of you know I went to Mexico,  and so tonight I am going to share with you my testimony of my experience in Mexico.
First I'll give you a brief history of what has happened this year. This year I have to say I have gotten distracted, I've cared more about my appearance and what others think of me instead of what God has to say about me... I have to apologize to all my readers, because I have not been the visionary daughter I set out to be, at the beginning of this blog.
This past year I really have given a good amount of my focus to fashion, and entertainment. I've cared more about keeping up with the times, then keeping up with the person's desires that created time! You see I didn't keep up with certain modesty standards I had for myself and watching more romantic chick flix's than needed.. this past year has been full of distractions, and I fell easily.

In Mexico God brought several things to my attention, one that I had exchanged his great opinion for the praises of others over my vanity. The second was my dress, I noticed on the trip I had began to push some modesty boundaries I had set up for myself. The third, my focus lately has really struggled with relationships and God brought to my attention that I really relied on a future with a significance other, and he asked me "If I wiped the surface clean of everyone, and you only had me for the rest of your life, would you be satisfied with just me?" In all honesty, I regret to say my answer was no, I mean if you really think about it, that is all girls talk about. It's girls main focus to find someone. Anyways, on this trip, God remined me of my first love, and my main purpose... to carry out the first commandment!  To focus on Him, and let everything go... to trust. And I'm just going to be real I have  horrible trusting issue... which I didn't notice until this trip either!
This has been an eye opening trip, and the freedom I got from this trip is amazing. I will share more about the other things that happened later, right now I'm going to go read!

Thank you all that have stuck with me,
In Christ,
Kassidy!

(Also just wanted to thank the Pruett girls that really encouraged me on this trip, you girls have an amazing understanding of Christ and his Spirit. Love you girls!)

Alive?

And you has he made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins:

Eph 2:1

I'm not going cut corners today but, I'm going to ask a question and then give some thoughts. Here is the question.. Are we living as if we're Alive? 

Here is the definition of Alive, from Dictionary.com: 

 

Alive Definition:

1.having life; living; existing; not dead or lifeless.

2.living (used for emphasis): the proudest man alive.

3.in a state of action; in force or operation; active: to keep hope alive.

4.full of energy and spirit; lively: Grandmother's more alive than most of her contemporaries.

5.having the quality of life; vivid; vibrant: The room was alive with color.



From the definition above that is a no, we are not living as if we are Alive.
I mean we're not going into action as much as we should, we are not full of God's Spirit, and the lot of this would be okay if we were at least trying to pursue the things we're without but, a lot of us don't even care to be alive, much less run with the amazing gift of responsibility of being made Alive!
I had a dream a while back pertaining to this, here is a part of it...

Last night I came home and went back through my journals where I wrote down my dreams, and actually there was a part where we were living like we were Zombies. I can't go into my whole dream so I'll just tell you this part... there was this pool where if you swim in it you will die. The water is a symbol of darkness... for many times even though we are changed we choose to swim in lies, our past, things in this world, etc.


The people at this pool were happy but, it was a fake happiness based off of self desires, and other things. The thing this people did not know is that they were dying....

Also this people was afraid because God was calling them to a destiny but, they didn't like the unknown they liked the light of their own darkness because it is what they know.... they long to step into that place of truth and light but, because of lies, etc. they keep to them selves.

A spirit like a Zombie is settling... we are alive but, dead instead of dead but alive!


Dead but Alive - is where, we are dead in the holy things but, alive in everything else... We are alive but for many wrong reasons.

Alive but dead- means alive in the things of Heaven, but dead to the human sinful flesh! We can be alive if be choose to pursue and lay our life aside...because life comes when you die... I know sounds crazy!
 (From a message I sent.)


When I first set eyes on this I was reminded of my dream. God has made us Alive but, if we don't keep in check the responsibility of the life that has been given to us, we become desensitized, dead to the things of God. We must turn towards God, and keep pursuing Him to gain understanding to what Alive really means... we've lost the revelation of the word! What if we really had the full understanding of what Alive meant, and we walked that out? Get that picture in the front of your mind... Heaven on Earth. Because with being Alive in Him, that opens the doors to practically everything God longs for, and what we should be longing for ourselves!

Those are my thoughts...
(Not saying that we never long for these things, I know in our heart of hearts we do... but, let's be honest with ourselves do we actually jump out of bed and say; "I want to heal someone today, or pray for an hour, and perhaps even longer than that!" A lot of the time we don't... and that's what I'm saying, that we would push a little harder at being Alive.)

New Year...

For the past couple of days... I've been revisiting my past, a daring adventure... an adventure I haven't taken in a while. For some reason at this time of the year I revisit... It's a time where I visit places that have never been healed, or places of joy, or places that are now bittersweet. It's a time of reflection!

This time, for some reason, it has been the hardest but, I believe it is because of where my life is at the moment. It's abounding in blessing, promises are blooming and the relationships around me are amazing! I've come to the understanding that...outstanding times in life are just interwoven with trials...David's life is a perfect example.

My other belief for this challenging reflection time is that, its just that time to officially say goodbye to parts of my past. Things that have caused pain, or dreams that are no longer meant to be... you see I'm a deep person, so I don't let go easily... because soon as a word, action, person, thing, gets close to me..  it stays close.. and its incredibly hard to let it go. I guess that's why it takes me so long to let someone in, because I am afraid of the outcome of the situation afterward. It's a trusting issue I know but, you see... I just love, and love is so hard to live, when everywhere around you is encouraging the exact opposite, death.
So when I love, and a not very loving response is given... I get cut to the core. I need to forgive yes, which you can trust that this is something I'm working on but, I do want people to understand that because I love, and feeling as been revived because of passionate relationship with Christ I feel more deeply... because people are not just people and words are not just words to me but, things that make life worth while!

This is why its been so hard but, honestly I'm excited about the pain of this recovery... because out of pain comes beauty, an beauty is one of the most important things in this world. Which is something I've learned in my small life span. I'm excited for the New Year... I know if healing and pain at the beginning than... New life and beauty will be at it end, and in amazing abundances!

To the New Year... 2012!

Rainy Days

 

As I sit here friends, on a rainy day, in my room. I'm reflecting on the words of Bill Johnson. He is a Pastor to a church in California, and he has written many outstanding books! The one that I'm reading at this moment is called, "Supernatural Ways of Royalty" which he co-wrote with Kris Vallotton, another amazing writer! 

There is one small portion of his book that I would like to share with you, here it is: 

"When we dream with God, we become the masterpieces of His imagination." 

In this part of the book, he is talking about how we reproduce what we imagine!  And in this particular paragraph he is talking about how, when we set our minds on God, and let his dreams become our own... and we fully meditate on this it gets into our system, and we reproduce. As I came to the small, short, line above... a cord in me got played, and a thought crossed my mind. 

If we are the produce of His imagination, and we are exercising the same imagination... then think of the power of that process and how if we, as people were really to focus (Meditate) on God and the things of Him, then we can become the person were meant to be by simply changing our thinking! 

So the revelation is, our thought patterns and mindsets are worth more to our story than we give them credit for... 

Thoughts are not just thoughts but, tools and weapons. So by simply changing your thinking you can change the world by one thought, taking captive and changing it or stepping into that thought with authority... that's what it comes down to friends! 

So focus... set your eyes...take captive... and speak. What we have in us... and what we do with that is a big part of the bigger picture and the plan of God! 

May your rainy day be blessed with revelations! 

Kassidy

Releasing Your Strength...

So I've finished the book "Captivating" and now I'm reading it again....
God has taught me so much! And slowly but, surely, I'm letting go and becoming the person I'm meant to be... this adventure is starting out so promising.

Here I'll share some breakthrough moments:

- Been praying for more training in Worship and just places where I can really grow in that area, and last night I go to Concord- IHOP.... and there wasn't many people, so they offered me a place to sing. It was a divine appointment!

-Spoke up at a leadership meeting.

-Just let myself be me, at a leadership fellowship night, and I had the best time being me in a long time!

-Expressing my interest more often in Worship, and messages at Churches, etc. The responds from Christ is just so encouraging!

And so much more....

I'm beginning to see the things I've hidden not only expressed because of the courage I've been given lately, but excepted. I'm stunned at the path ahead, and to think that this journey is beginning! God continues to speak more promises, and words to me and to think I was going to give all this up, for the fame of the world... a couple years back! Go ahead call me, silly! I know I was....

UGH! If only I could open up my heart for all of you, so you can see the road ahead... and how you really can have a "Captivating" lifestyle if you let go and hold on to the hand of Christ!

Hiss

Over the last week I've been reading "Captivating" By John and Stasti Eldredge. Its an amazing book and I've been learning so much, about women, myself, and the mysteries behind wounds that all us women bare. 

And that last thing, is what I want to talk about! From the beginning of time we've been hurt... (Hence when Adam was silent.) And now in the present... I'm going to show you a clip from a movie that you probably all know! Now the part I want you to pay attention to is the beginning of the video....ready?

 After watching that can you relate? That voice that whispers pain, and failure... or maybe its simply "Your beauty is alright." Even though earlier I mentioned Adam, there was a voice... a snake that hissed something compelling. Even though women keep asking man why he didn't stand up in the beginning... the person that is really hurting us, is Satan himself. Words dance around our ears like wildfire from this snake and our question is why?

The beauty that was Satan's was given to us,

He was the most beautiful... the example of God's beauty, and when Satan was banished,

WE...women... was given his gift, us becoming the crown of creation!

Eve, means life. What does Satan come to do? 

Kill, Steal, and Destroy! 

His desire the exact opposite of what women are meant to do.... we give life thourgh baring children, nourishing, and helping others along by being vulnerable- a listening ear, etc. 

Who we are is the exact opposite of what Satan wants in this world! 

So just us living is a threat to Him! He is the living Haman, to our destined Esther life! He hisses, whispers, whatever to get us down... pain cuts deep when another word follows, after another. Oh! He knows it too! If he can slow us down, get us slammed than part of life is gone... We were meant to be a living Eden. 

BUT oh, that next part! When the King comes.... there is hope... Jesus will come. And honestly, that is how it looks and all goes down.The scene speaks for its self. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOU SEEM... I encourage you to read the book, "Captivating". 

I encourage you to study who you really are as a woman, in the Bible! 

Sometimes..

Sometimes you need a little fire to satisfy your hunger!

Been craving these lately, and I realized a truth to this little saying... we need the fire of Christ to satisfy our hungery souls.

Walking Out.

"If we are never broken we can never be made whole." JJ Heller-- It takes pain, to go the next step... to go deeper and to have better relationships. Be vulnerable even if it hurts! 


This was my status today on Facebook, the reason because I am going through this very step. Why the picture? Because this is me, my true self.. a person that I tried to smuggle away. At the core of my being, I am loud, spontaneous, and deep. I took risk, I was the one who got out in the middle of everything and did something crazy when no one would, I would dance in the grocery store, I would be the person to push people into doing something that they wouldn't do.... and now I wish I had that part of me back. 


I try to smuggle my true self with the excuse that I'm being more mature. Last year, I had lied to myself by excepting that being meek was being quiet.... and now I am beginning to understand the real meaning of that verse. Its not a outside action but, a heart action... that verse has nothing with me being quiet exactly but, with me being open to listen continuing to what He says. It has nothing to do with me being quiet! 


Another thing that came out of that time, is me being afraid to trust... its a generational curse. I am afraid of being vulnerable, I'm afraid of getting hurt. And honestly, I hate it... and I have decided I am going to try my hardest, along with Christ, to brake through. For this very thing is entering into my relationship with Christ...and its simply not exceptionable. 
So even though its hard, we have to step into vulnerability even if it hurts... because if we don't then we will forever be in a dull, shallow place. We have to take risks in order to live... its a no brainer! 


So I am walking out of the person I am now, and getting back to the real Kassie...the one full of freedom, Joy, wisdom, and all the other things that I have decided to hide from people because of the level of fear in my heart of getting hurt. It won't be easy but, I have to do this! Because I can't be a healthy leader, if I'm not out of the bondage of fear for myself. God is healing me of this, and He has called me into vulnerability... so be ready Kassie is coming out!

The Battle of a Warrior

Some of you know of a commitment I made a year and a half ago. A commitment I made to Christ, to focus on Him for a year! A year of learning, experiencing, pressing, building, etc. This year has truly been rewarding in SO many ways, its also been a battle. Espeacilly the last couple of days...

It started Saturday night, at first it was an amazing encounter! But then doubt came and beganing beating me down, laziness was the next thing that set in, along with exhaustion. Today has been the hardest, yesterday lies flooded my head, today I'm so tired I'm shaking just typing this out. At first I didn't understand but, now I do for this month is when I turn seventeen! The age God said he would reveal what He wanted me to do with the ministry ideas, etc.

I'm being tested, I'm being battled with the desion of whether or not to trust in God to see me through to this next year, and MUCH more!

This is my Caspian moment, all I have to do is say 'no', and then fight it out! Push on with a cry to Heaven! This is my Ester moment, to report the Haman that is tormenting! This is my Stallion moment, to run my race and into the arms of my Master! This is my moment, to enter into the throneroom with a sacerfice in my hands to lay before the King of kings!

Today, I found myself in my room crying out to Jesus... something I haven't done in a while. I mean really crying, tears and all! I learned something though as I was in my room, that I have no idea who I am marrying. I only know a small dose of that person, I also learned that as that bride I have a on going battle to fight anyway... the battle that is raging against my groom for just being the Saviour, period.

I am a warrior Bride, of a warrior Groom. As I declared things in worship and prayer...life came to me in a whisper, through Jesus's voice one of the most refreshing sounds.

You see the lie that has been pushing me is, "Your just hurting Him if you go on, can you really bear doing that again and again?" I could not get my mind around this lie. It kept playing again and again!

That morning I decided I'll put in my JOY Cd and just press in...that always makes me feel better.

Even though at that moment the lie sounded pretty convencing, I know that Jesus is the one that could reveal the truth of this lie.

So I turned on the CD, and as I just pressed in and began to pray... the presence of God came, and soon I was overwhelmed with the promises of God. The Love of Christ, and so much more!

It was one of the most amzing times I've ever had, so much freedom was felt and a new prespective was born in my heart.

The warrior Spirit was soon present and I started to notice what was going on in my heart and in the atmosphere! I soon remembered the story of Esther, the story of David, the story of John the Bastist and how all of them went through Spirtual triles and natural ones. I learned that a warrior is built on tradgey, and God is best glorified in these because He is able to intervene at His best...and we are able to believe and trust at our best! David prayed for trils because He knew this, and I have to say that day when I was put to the test I was better for it because I was given the chance to believe and run to Jesus, out of weakness just to be made strong in being vulnerable to the Savior.

Here is one of the songs that really pushed me through, and that God used to speak to me that day.

We are Good...

So my revelation this morning was really amazing! It brought such freedom... and joy into my life and I just have to share it with you.
Okay..so for the longest time, the whole "Are you a good?" person thing got under my skin. I just knew that wasn't right... The question that would go through my head  and that would always nag at me when this question came was this, "If we are bad, then how come God said after he was finished with creation 'It is very good!'? And we are made in God's image and God's image is not bad at all, and it is very far from that!"
This morning the revelation that hit me was this, we are naturally not bad people... I am not a bad person, its the contamination of the spirit of sin and the spirit of self relience, and weakness out of that I make bad desicions. You see when God made us, he made us to be vulnerable to Him, not to be vulnerable this world because He gave us domian over it! We were made to be dependant on Him, not self reliant. Made to gonverner creation, in strength. But because of the knowledge of Good and evil, set in we became weak to both because it was to much for us to handled on our own, self reliants is not a virtue but a weakness. This all happened in the beginning....
But when Jesus came, he died for all sin commited and all we're going to commit. He took that burden, and forgot it, to redeem our natural spirit of good. Then He sent his Spirit to brake the spirit of self reliants, and into help strengthen into the strength of being vulnerabe to God! Because of God's wonderful mercy, and He restoring the ability to be good in our lives, it is to Him we owe! Now the reason He is coming back, is to rescue us completly from this earth and to completly destroy the evil that still tries to lure us away from Him, with the lie that independance in self is the best way and to complete the work in our hearts! You see, even though we are good, because of the restoring from the love of Jesus and the goodness of God placed in us at the beginning of time- simply because we were made in His image, (You see its because of Him in us we are good.) He is going to give us even more purity and strength in the end, and finelly to brake completly the spirit of self reliants from our devoted souls!


For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:29

I thank God, that He made us good. That He broke us free from sin, and restored us. That He is continuing to help us in the strength of being vulnerable!

He is Not What He Seems...

A revelation I had this weekend at camp, which I didn't know I really had until this morning, is that the Spirit is so important and fun!


I hardly knew Him until this weekend, where the revelation that he is really a person and not an emotion, or a element but, a very strong relation to the three. I knew this before but, I still treated him as a third wheel to the three!

I thought of him as a element to bring myself to the Lord's heart, and to God's, me not really thinking that the Spirit might want to show me who he was in the realm of the supernatural and just in my life!

Last night, when I was at youth, the Spirit brought a picture of who he is, and what he was doing. I saw him rubbing against us, like Toothless in "How to Train Your Dragon."

The Spirit is that dragon, and as I began to reflect on that movie and the story line I noticed that me seeing that picture was important to understanding the Spirit!



We really don't see the Spirit as we should, we are often afraid of it because of how out-going and free it is! We fight against it like the Vikings fought Toothless, because we don't understand its power and the greatness to its depth... and because of a lack of understanding we push it away in fear, and the lack of wisdom in this area of knowing who he is, is what makes us hold back.

When Hiccup brought down Toothless, he was expecting him to lash out, He wasn't expecting him to be as gentle as he was, and that's how we are, we have an image of what we think the Spirit is and we really have no idea how he is, and we really don't know him at all!

We put a cap on him because were so sure he is going to be this demanding, aggressive, thing that we don't know how to relate with, when really we begin to know him he is not like that at all! When Hiccup first sees that glimmer of gentleness, which is what draws him to Toothless because he realizes, in his heart of hearts, that this dragon is different than what it seems to be like. So it opens up his heart to trust, understanding, and fascination, which are the things that draws us to the Spirit in the first steps of getting to know him.

So then Hiccup makes the effort to know Toothless, and when Toothless sees the truth of Hiccup's heart, and sees Hiccup's trust in him that’s when the friendship takes place, and Toothless takes him to those high places, and when he begins to show him the root cause of injustice and fear, and why some things are the way they are. Like when Toothless, takes him to the nest, Hiccup begins to see the deeper part of troubles that are happening.

After that when they come back, the girl makes a certain remark that I think we can relate to, "You’re going to keep, "finding the nest" a secret, just to save your pet dragon?" Hiccup said yes, like the lot of us would. We say yes a lot of the time because we’re afraid of telling the root problem of our pain, irritation, etc. Having fear that it will hurt our relationship with God, or other people, which is a lie!

It will make those relationships stronger, and give you freedom in a way you never had before! When Hiccup goes to fight the other dragon, he can't do it because he knows that the problem is not the dragon its self but, the root behind its malice is what is driving it to kill the people of the village.

The same can be said for our hearts towards people, we have to remember the root of their attitudes when they are cruel to us! Its often because they excepted the weakness of the enemy and turned their gaze off of God. There is then something under the service that is making them cruel, offensive, prideful, etc. and that’s when we have to have compassion because of their weakness.



Next, in the end, when Hiccup and Toothless destroy the root problem of injustices that have been going on in that presence time, it’s because Hiccup learned to trust, and him and Toothless had a loyalty for each other! When we let ourselves trust and be vulnerable with the Spirit, we become leaders of battle, promise, worship, etc! If you look at Hiccup at the beginning of the movie, and then him at the end there is a difference! He looked past the voices, the difficulties, the rejection, and went for that relationship with love and passion.



When I talked to my mom this morning, the three persons are like a family. God the father, Jesus the son, and the Spirit like the mother. The one who nurtures, and gives guidance, here are some verses that tells this:



26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.



``John 14:26



7 But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. 8 And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; 9 concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; 11 and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.



``John 16:7-11



"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will"



Romans 8:26-27 (NIV)



That last verse serves my last point. If a mother was to leave the family, there would be



complete chaos. The mothering nurturing spirit would not be there to guide the children, keep the house in order (the Church), direct them in relationships, and to help them understand things. How much more would there be if the Spirit was gone from the three? We see it a good bit in our own lives, it still flows enough for us to know God but, when you learn to live by the Spirit that’s when the strength comes, and the good starts to flow from the deepest parts of our core!

So it is to our well being that the Spirit is able to come at the power it does, because the Spirit of God is what brings conviction, wisdom, deliverance, etc. Without living vulnerably to the Spirit, God, Jesus, we are weak!

Self reliant is not strength but weakness, we have accepted the world’s view of strength and we have to learn to live in the drive of the Spirit, and not our own flesh!