The Bride's Season

Last night my heart was moved, a speaker was talking of the Bride of Christ... the word spoke to me so much... I decided to go deeper into the heart of God for his feelings of the Bride in this time...

As I was worshiping this morning God spoke to me about the Bride, he showed me a picture.. it was the Bride crying for more, as Christ came to give her more she slapped him and got up and ran the other way into a scene of mass chaos! Behind Christ there was the Kingdom and he was ready to give it but, it was rejected because the bride was not ready to throw aside her earthly desires...

One thing that Jesus told me this morning is that, we can cry for Heaven to come all we want but, if we are not ready to receive what he fully wants to give us then why are we asking for it?! It's our turn to show Him that we really want him, he has already reveal His heart, its time for us to reveal ours! The things that we have longed for in the Church, are things he has wanted for longer... we stand up for a minute in a worship service going for it, and then afterward we say "that was good" and go right back to our routine... Jesus is calling the Bride into a place of radical pursuit!
He wants to be longed for, just has much as we want to be longed for...
We must lock gazes with the one with eyes of fire, soon as we see those excited eyes, their will be nothing that we desire more than to gaze into them daily!

I felt I was suppose to share,
Kassidy

A Relationship

There comes a time and a place where you experience the love of God. 

It doesn't exactly happen when you get saved, 

or when you die. 

It happens when you realize the deepest parts of you are not met. 

When someone bigger than yourself is reaching down to where others have never dared to go,
 and where you yourself have feared, 

Would never be touched in the way you dreamed. 

You've always known it would be if you only got to that place! 

Entered into his presence and just talked to Him but,

Do we dare? 

We ask. 

Do we dare risk?

Do we dare step towards this person that will take us higher? 

Like a rollarcoaster that never drops. 

Do we dare to dream of a relationship that is perfect, in the light of a different being? 

Do we dare enter into a house of servants, 

knowing that one day the training will be over and we will enter his chamber. 

As Esther did. 

Do we dare fall in love with a King- Not just a king but the King of kings?

Do we dare realize his love?

Do we dare experience? 

We are afraid of our lover. 

Being so abused by the one who owned us before, we don't know how to act!

We act out of the habits of the other house because we were there for so long.

It's hard breaking from the habits. 

But really the thing that draws us back the most- 

is realizing the fact that true love does exist! 

That perfect love exist! 

Chains, sin, does not hold us back. 

For when Christ died they were broken, it died. 

Even if you sin, God forgives.

Believing in this "dream" is possible,

It can become a reality by pursuing God as he pursues us daily.

The love of God is a experience that is breathtaking, 

Beautiful,

Engaging,

Moving. 

Being intimate with God is a beautiful reality. 

A love that makes you so deep in love,

Emotions come you don't even know what to do with, 

So you use them to pursue Him more,

And you draw closer, deeper. 

Emotions come stronger and it all happens again. 

A beautiful cycle!

Made specifically for us,
for Him.
We were made just to love God!
To just be His own,
to share a paradise with Him.
I haven't always known true love,
I thought I did but,
pursuing God,
Him pursuing me-
Changes everything!

Deep calls out to deep, deep, deep.
He calls out to me, me, me!
We live to Eterity.
Where WE live life forever as one!

Pursuing is something that never stops,
It persits,
It moves,
It engages.
Its an everlasting thing that,
 gives a drive to do things you never thought you could do,
simply because you love!
Pursuing is beautiful if looked at the right way,
In the wrong way it could look like more of a chore,
than an opportunity!
Pursuing is life changing.
When you make that the prime to life,
pursuing God,
Your in adventure for a lifetime.
One you will NEVER forget,
One you will never want to stop.
The best part about all this it never does stop!
It NEVER does.

(From my journal)

My Journal Entry- Part 3. (Story of Esther)

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After that I began to push my self to spend more time with Him. 
Here is a conversation I had in this time with Him:

-"God, I want a conversation with you."
* "Talk to me."
- "What do you truly want to teach me?"
* "My love for you."
- "God, I don't deserve you."
* "I know. (The 'I know' is a inside joke. Maybe I'll share it later. ;))
- "So why did you choose me?"
* "Kassie, it take many plants to make a garden but, only one to fill its one place perfectly."
- "Still, why me?"
* "Because no one could fill it as perfect as you can. My plans for you were made for you and you only!"
- "Me only?"
*"You alone I plan these plans for. Your call made for you, you must except the vision."
-"Help me step out of darkness, fully. Pull me out!"
* "I'm not going to make you love me, you have to decide."
-"I do want you."
*"Be a hero, not a victim."
-"God help me..."
*"I will and have, I love you."
-"I love you too, my Groom."
* "My Bride."

To tell you the truth, this conversation was so real! That it was hard for me to grasp that it was reality!
One thing I've learned is that a lot of the time we except Christ because at one time we loved Him but, lost the vision of His loveliness somehow or we except because its the right thing to do or because its a generational thing. Mine was the first... I don't really know how it happened... I think part of it was my mind set was just warped!

The next things He said was "Touch the door knob."- "I use youth! For wonders, it starts in youth and blossoms later." (Youth as in childhood or teen years.)
I thought He still was talking of my ministry but, He wasn't.
When He was talking of youth He was trying to remind me of the times where I, as a child cryed for Him. Me literally belting "I am a Friend of God." I finally got what He was saying when I read, the first couple of chapters of "Enjoying God." He talks of Ezekiel 16:1-6 This is where I realized what He was reminding me of a deeper love realationship I was ready for.

"Later, I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love." (Stop)

There that small part Jesus said "We were friends when you were a child, now I'm calling you deeper." (Gosh, I feel like I'm in one of those "perfect" romantic movies Hollywood always make! Except mine is real!!!!!... Everything I've ever dreamed for, Jesus is... He is my perfect match!)

Him saying "Touch the door knob." was Him wanting me to open the door of a deeper, more intimate realitionship with Him, and to fully rejoyce the way I was made to rejoyce!

My day of blossoming had come. I had to pursue it!

The next week, I just pursued God. Spent hours just thinking about Him. All through out the day, God just said "I love you!" I've been so tickled by what God has done and just Him in general!

I love Him! In pursuing Him, He has kissed me more than once with a verse. My two favorites are, Songs of Songs 1:1 and Philemon 1:7.

Songs of Songs 1:1 He said: "Love is my favorite song.

Philemon 1:7 - I find my self melting through out the day, by His simple touch on my spirit. It's hard to fathom but, yet not.

He has also called me His Esther. Which I didn't understand at first but, I do now! Last night my youth pastor, Nick, talked about laying down your desire for His desire. He talked of the narrow road, like a tunnel, we try to take in our own desires but it doesn't work, because the road is to narrow. They just won't fit! My favorite part was He talked about the path broadning once we fully start to desire Him, and really pursue.

After that the story of Esther clicked in my head. The narrow path is, like the training stage just like in the story of Esther how the virgins were chosen to be taken to the palace, they had to lay their past behind, all all they had for the desire of the King. They had to be trained a full year, before they entered to the King. Esther was chosen because of the God in her, even if the King didn't know at the time. When Esther's training was over and she entered the chamber of the king and all he had for her. Her training was done, it was her time to honor Him!
She had nothing to offer the king but, herself and she did that, she devoted herself to the King's desire even in training when she didn't know him at all! 

That's what God wants me to do now, be trained by Him. Him training me to love him fully and study His ways that way I can do the best for Him, give Him the love he so fully desires.
I have to be trained though... If I'm being training by God then, I'm all for it.

The next part that He showed me, is just like the story of Esther: Esther had to bring up her past to save her people. God said this: "There will be a time where those ideas will need to be used to save a people, then they will be used."
Kassie.


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That was the end of that one.... but for those that read your Bible. ;) You know the story doesn't stop there! So I shall post more of My Journal- on a different day!

Thanks for reading and thanks for just taking the time to hear my story and what God's doing!

A Dream! - Message to all!

So about two weeks ago, I had a dream. One of the craziest ones yet! I've had two others like this before... from God. The first one I had I was literally trembling... I had it when I was ten and then a second one this last fall! Then the one I'm about to share, like I said I had a couple weeks ago. There are a couple of other things God wants me to share and also I feel I need to cry out. So brace your selves, I'm about to get serious!
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I was on a youth retreat, my youth group was there and some friends from another youth group and then some friends.
The hotel was the most beautiful- marble floors, glass rooms, and walls, inside fountains! I remember when we got there I went to my room and put my stuff down. Then I was trying to put earrings in and my bag fell... this girl from the group helped me.
Then I went down stairs and we as a group hungout around this beautiful fountain, pure clean water inside it... the fountain was in a glassroom, there were tons of people in this same area... so busy! Just pushing their way through people... Us as a group were just having fun and hanging out.
Something was going on at this Hotel and I knew it! The others didn't so much...
I kept noticing this woman around the hotel, watching me, us... mostly me. I knew this was more than a retreat for us and they knew I knew!
The top of this company/place, was a older man. He was planning something and I was going to find out what!
I knew I would be risking it... but I didn't care! I started being nosy, I started to find out things. Things they didn't want me too!
One thing was, the hotel had this grocery store, it was small and it was for the people who stayed at the hotel. The bread in this store was making people sick... REALLY sick!
I started to tell people they were slowly dying but, they were either to busy to care or just didn't listen. Then people of the hotel started watching me, a lot of people just went on in life not even noticing the things I was witnessing. Only those that wanted me quiet noticed...
Then I was in my room when men came in and took me to the grocery store warehouse.
They brought me into this open area and there was the woman- she stared at me for a moment when I started getting beat up by the men! I had soda in my hand... and I was trying to drink it.. they kept coming at me.
I remember, me being pushed into a corner. The woman watching me with a smirk on her face- She was the second in command of the company!
She kept saying "Don't tell anyone the things you have found out. If you do, we will kill you."
Then she told the men to stop. Then she said "And if anyone asked where you were tell them you went on a date with Marcus and your scares are what happened." as we were about to walk out.

Of course if my friends asked they would know that something was up by that reply because, I don't date.That's what I thought... I told the woman that too. She said "Follow me." I did. Men followed close behind to make sure I followed.
As we walked through the halls men in black suits were everywhere! I started telling the woman the delays of their plans... "They will know something is up!" - "Then keep it low key." - "They will find out about you and what your doing!" - "No they won't and if they do, we will know where to find them!"
The head joined us- "He asked "What is going on?" - "She won't stop ranting!" - "Then get her to!"
Then the woman says to me- "You'll probably want some rest!" The woman by this point was frustrated with me. She smiled a bit mockingly though when she said those words, as we went down a hall to a well guarded room!

The room was full of some of the strongest Christian youths I know. They were all trying to sleep.
A guard brought me in and said I was off limits to talk to and then he left.
I waited for someone to notice my scars and bruises... no one did, all were to tired. "Guys, they hurt me!" then one of the youth said "Shhh...you should be quiet. Aren't you tired?"
I was but, I knew I couldn't. I had to push and stay awake. I couldn't believe they all were sleeping, none of them noticing how beat up I was. They just wanted to sleep. We were about to die and they wanted to sleep!
I remember, just looking around not believing what I saw... Then I woke up.


The other stuff following later!

Journal Entry- Part 2

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Next thing He said was: "I'm going to intoxicate you, to intoxicate the nations." Here I thought: "Oh so He's going to use my ministry Generation Caspian?" That got me a bit frustrated because I'm thinking "When? He want's me to wait."
So after that I'm thinking... "Great! I need to focus on my vision of being a mother." So I start on that. During this time I also had interest in Esther. Didn't really understand why... something with her story I got really fascinated. I wasn't even the book of Esther! 
So I'm getting into motherhood vision, just going at it. This is why He wants me to wait till I'm seventeen. I got it! 

Then basically  God's like "No you don't, you don't got it." He of course doesn't say something like that, how I just wrote because He's a gentlemen. :) I think you get my point.
Then He said: "Would you be fine with me, do you love me enough to give me your dream of what your aspiring to be?
Of course I was blowen out of the water, and my honest answer was, sadly, no.

So I became even more frustrated, me not knowing why God called me to wait. Then God gave me the song, "Pursue Love/Me." :)
At the time I couldn't fully enjoy the song, because  I was just frustrated and even more so, when God said: "Pursue Me." My thoughts were " I am. Thats all I ever do!" The problem was I was loving God through my works and He simply wanted me to just love Him and sit with Him. I had a Martha spirit and He wanted me to have a Mary one.
His pursue did not stop there, He went on to say: "Lean on me, love me! Pursue me."
He wanted my frustration to rest in Him. He wanted my love  when, it was prune. I didn't understand how He could pursue me more with my bitter attitude towards Him, my past pressing me. It just made Him love me, all the more.
Thats when I decided to pray "God give me the streangth to go on without others."

A Journal Entry- Part one.

Dear Dairy,
I'm merely going to tell you my favorite part of my journey, it started about a month ago. I started wondering about my future and of others. God then spoke to me and said "Why are you looking for attention else where, don't you know I love you?"
I guess what I realized is I was putting God on hold, not realizing that His love is what I was looking for.

I had a vision that week of me in a beautiful throne room, absolutely beautiful! Gold and marble floors and walls, gold doors. Ruby red tiles in the pattern on the floor. Grand!
I saw my self in a beautiful gown, white. Hair up in a elegant up-do. I was dancing with different young men each one representing a distraction from over the years. (I told you I was going to get vulnerable.)

At each turn one would disappear and then another would take the ones place. As I was dancing with one, another figure came into the room His suit, one a prince would wear. It was pure white, gold buttons, a red sash a cross the chest, pins of great things done on the left side of His chest.
He had finely cut hair, handsome. I couldn't see His face for it was glowing! (I remember the feeling I felt while I was having this vision, I knew this was the first time I had ever really seen or experienced Jesus. I was so nervous... like how you get when your around someone you really like.)
 The young man I was dancing with disappeared, He then took my hands and we danced, and then He took me out these doors on to a balcony and there I saw a shining kingdom, the houses gold, the grass so green and lush, beautiful plants, a perfect sunset, animals grazing and running.
There He said, "I give you a kingdom, not only freedom but, a paradise. For us, forever. I love you!"

I didn't know what to do, at the time I was mad and frustrated, had acted incretible odd for how I was normally. (Really guys it was werid! I was not my self... it was something else. I can't discribe what I felt, it was just werid!)  The other thing was, is that in this time I felt God/ Jesus really wanting me to wait and not do the ministry ideas till later.
I felt a burning want for God but, didn't know how to handle it by not doing anything.

He kept saying things like "Useing you to an ability you haven't imaged yet, thats why you don't know what to do." - Paint Your Picture - "Already have." - "Wait on me."- "I love you!"

There were times when I got so frustrated I ignored God. But He would just keep pursuing me. He sent me cardneils in my frustrated moments, reminding me that He loved me!
I didn't understand, so I began to feel like my passion and wisdom was dying because I wasn't "doing" anything. Funny hugh?

The next things He said was; " You need to understand the vision." This I was thinking, "Oh to be a mother, I need to gain back the vision of being a mother!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Post second part later.