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Next thing He said was: "I'm going to intoxicate you, to intoxicate the nations." Here I thought: "Oh so He's going to use my ministry Generation Caspian?" That got me a bit frustrated because I'm thinking "When? He want's me to wait."
So after that I'm thinking... "Great! I need to focus on my vision of being a mother." So I start on that. During this time I also had interest in Esther. Didn't really understand why... something with her story I got really fascinated. I wasn't even the book of Esther!
So I'm getting into motherhood vision, just going at it. This is why He wants me to wait till I'm seventeen. I got it!
Then basically God's like "No you don't, you don't got it." He of course doesn't say something like that, how I just wrote because He's a gentlemen. :) I think you get my point.
Then He said: "Would you be fine with me, do you love me enough to give me your dream of what your aspiring to be?
Of course I was blowen out of the water, and my honest answer was, sadly, no.
So I became even more frustrated, me not knowing why God called me to wait. Then God gave me the song, "Pursue Love/Me." :)
At the time I couldn't fully enjoy the song, because I was just frustrated and even more so, when God said: "Pursue Me." My thoughts were " I am. Thats all I ever do!" The problem was I was loving God through my works and He simply wanted me to just love Him and sit with Him. I had a Martha spirit and He wanted me to have a Mary one.
His pursue did not stop there, He went on to say: "Lean on me, love me! Pursue me."
He wanted my frustration to rest in Him. He wanted my love when, it was prune. I didn't understand how He could pursue me more with my bitter attitude towards Him, my past pressing me. It just made Him love me, all the more.
Thats when I decided to pray "God give me the streangth to go on without others."
Next thing He said was: "I'm going to intoxicate you, to intoxicate the nations." Here I thought: "Oh so He's going to use my ministry Generation Caspian?" That got me a bit frustrated because I'm thinking "When? He want's me to wait."
So after that I'm thinking... "Great! I need to focus on my vision of being a mother." So I start on that. During this time I also had interest in Esther. Didn't really understand why... something with her story I got really fascinated. I wasn't even the book of Esther!
So I'm getting into motherhood vision, just going at it. This is why He wants me to wait till I'm seventeen. I got it!
Then basically God's like "No you don't, you don't got it." He of course doesn't say something like that, how I just wrote because He's a gentlemen. :) I think you get my point.
Then He said: "Would you be fine with me, do you love me enough to give me your dream of what your aspiring to be?
Of course I was blowen out of the water, and my honest answer was, sadly, no.
So I became even more frustrated, me not knowing why God called me to wait. Then God gave me the song, "Pursue Love/Me." :)
At the time I couldn't fully enjoy the song, because I was just frustrated and even more so, when God said: "Pursue Me." My thoughts were " I am. Thats all I ever do!" The problem was I was loving God through my works and He simply wanted me to just love Him and sit with Him. I had a Martha spirit and He wanted me to have a Mary one.
His pursue did not stop there, He went on to say: "Lean on me, love me! Pursue me."
He wanted my frustration to rest in Him. He wanted my love when, it was prune. I didn't understand how He could pursue me more with my bitter attitude towards Him, my past pressing me. It just made Him love me, all the more.
Thats when I decided to pray "God give me the streangth to go on without others."
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