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After that I began to push my self to spend more time with Him.
Here is a conversation I had in this time with Him:
-"God, I want a conversation with you."
* "Talk to me."
- "What do you truly want to teach me?"
* "My love for you."
- "God, I don't deserve you."
* "I know. (The 'I know' is a inside joke. Maybe I'll share it later. ;))
- "So why did you choose me?"
* "Kassie, it take many plants to make a garden but, only one to fill its one place perfectly."
- "Still, why me?"
* "Because no one could fill it as perfect as you can. My plans for you were made for you and you only!"
- "Me only?"
*"You alone I plan these plans for. Your call made for you, you must except the vision."
-"Help me step out of darkness, fully. Pull me out!"
* "I'm not going to make you love me, you have to decide."
-"I do want you."
*"Be a hero, not a victim."
-"God help me..."
*"I will and have, I love you."
-"I love you too, my Groom."
* "My Bride."
To tell you the truth, this conversation was so real! That it was hard for me to grasp that it was reality!
One thing I've learned is that a lot of the time we except Christ because at one time we loved Him but, lost the vision of His loveliness somehow or we except because its the right thing to do or because its a generational thing. Mine was the first... I don't really know how it happened... I think part of it was my mind set was just warped!
The next things He said was "Touch the door knob."- "I use youth! For wonders, it starts in youth and blossoms later." (Youth as in childhood or teen years.)
I thought He still was talking of my ministry but, He wasn't.
When He was talking of youth He was trying to remind me of the times where I, as a child cryed for Him. Me literally belting "I am a Friend of God." I finally got what He was saying when I read, the first couple of chapters of "Enjoying God." He talks of Ezekiel 16:1-6 This is where I realized what He was reminding me of a deeper love realationship I was ready for.
After that I began to push my self to spend more time with Him.
Here is a conversation I had in this time with Him:
-"God, I want a conversation with you."
* "Talk to me."
- "What do you truly want to teach me?"
* "My love for you."
- "God, I don't deserve you."
* "I know. (The 'I know' is a inside joke. Maybe I'll share it later. ;))
- "So why did you choose me?"
* "Kassie, it take many plants to make a garden but, only one to fill its one place perfectly."
- "Still, why me?"
* "Because no one could fill it as perfect as you can. My plans for you were made for you and you only!"
- "Me only?"
*"You alone I plan these plans for. Your call made for you, you must except the vision."
-"Help me step out of darkness, fully. Pull me out!"
* "I'm not going to make you love me, you have to decide."
-"I do want you."
*"Be a hero, not a victim."
-"God help me..."
*"I will and have, I love you."
-"I love you too, my Groom."
* "My Bride."
To tell you the truth, this conversation was so real! That it was hard for me to grasp that it was reality!
One thing I've learned is that a lot of the time we except Christ because at one time we loved Him but, lost the vision of His loveliness somehow or we except because its the right thing to do or because its a generational thing. Mine was the first... I don't really know how it happened... I think part of it was my mind set was just warped!
The next things He said was "Touch the door knob."- "I use youth! For wonders, it starts in youth and blossoms later." (Youth as in childhood or teen years.)
I thought He still was talking of my ministry but, He wasn't.
When He was talking of youth He was trying to remind me of the times where I, as a child cryed for Him. Me literally belting "I am a Friend of God." I finally got what He was saying when I read, the first couple of chapters of "Enjoying God." He talks of Ezekiel 16:1-6 This is where I realized what He was reminding me of a deeper love realationship I was ready for.
"Later, I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love." (Stop)
There that small part Jesus said "We were friends when you were a child, now I'm calling you deeper." (Gosh, I feel like I'm in one of those "perfect" romantic movies Hollywood always make! Except mine is real!!!!!... Everything I've ever dreamed for, Jesus is... He is my perfect match!)
Him saying "Touch the door knob." was Him wanting me to open the door of a deeper, more intimate realitionship with Him, and to fully rejoyce the way I was made to rejoyce!
My day of blossoming had come. I had to pursue it!
The next week, I just pursued God. Spent hours just thinking about Him. All through out the day, God just said "I love you!" I've been so tickled by what God has done and just Him in general!
I love Him! In pursuing Him, He has kissed me more than once with a verse. My two favorites are, Songs of Songs 1:1 and Philemon 1:7.
Songs of Songs 1:1 He said: "Love is my favorite song.
Philemon 1:7 - I find my self melting through out the day, by His simple touch on my spirit. It's hard to fathom but, yet not.
He has also called me His Esther. Which I didn't understand at first but, I do now! Last night my youth pastor, Nick, talked about laying down your desire for His desire. He talked of the narrow road, like a tunnel, we try to take in our own desires but it doesn't work, because the road is to narrow. They just won't fit! My favorite part was He talked about the path broadning once we fully start to desire Him, and really pursue.
After that the story of Esther clicked in my head. The narrow path is, like the training stage just like in the story of Esther how the virgins were chosen to be taken to the palace, they had to lay their past behind, all all they had for the desire of the King. They had to be trained a full year, before they entered to the King. Esther was chosen because of the God in her, even if the King didn't know at the time. When Esther's training was over and she entered the chamber of the king and all he had for her. Her training was done, it was her time to honor Him!
She had nothing to offer the king but, herself and she did that, she devoted herself to the King's desire even in training when she didn't know him at all!
She had nothing to offer the king but, herself and she did that, she devoted herself to the King's desire even in training when she didn't know him at all!
That's what God wants me to do now, be trained by Him. Him training me to love him fully and study His ways that way I can do the best for Him, give Him the love he so fully desires.
I have to be trained though... If I'm being training by God then, I'm all for it.
The next part that He showed me, is just like the story of Esther: Esther had to bring up her past to save her people. God said this: "There will be a time where those ideas will need to be used to save a people, then they will be used."
Kassie.
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That was the end of that one.... but for those that read your Bible. ;) You know the story doesn't stop there! So I shall post more of My Journal- on a different day!
Thanks for reading and thanks for just taking the time to hear my story and what God's doing!
I have to be trained though... If I'm being training by God then, I'm all for it.
The next part that He showed me, is just like the story of Esther: Esther had to bring up her past to save her people. God said this: "There will be a time where those ideas will need to be used to save a people, then they will be used."
Kassie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That was the end of that one.... but for those that read your Bible. ;) You know the story doesn't stop there! So I shall post more of My Journal- on a different day!
Thanks for reading and thanks for just taking the time to hear my story and what God's doing!
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