Dear Readers,
I have to say even though I have not been spending time with God like I should, He surely does speak to you even if you don't speak to Him. He has spoke through blog post of friends, words of fellow chums and even the foolishness of the world!
His creation is so beautiful, and sometimes I find my self wishing I could literally take my bed place it in the middle of a field and sleep there.
I also find my self lately wishing for more time with friends and wanting to just be with people but, then after those long thoughts, and talks with invisible people and me realizing my real motives for wanting persons company is because I am either avioding a situation with my self or trying to aviod something God wants me to do.
Its really trying... and this time I find that its a situation with my self! Lately I've been wondering about my future, my past and if in the end, I will truely be happy with the life I've lived or atleast tried to live. I am finding that just now, in this year, I am actually discovering my real self and who I am, what my motives are, my beliefs etc.
So far I have found that my entire life is built on other people. Which for someone who hardly talks to anyone in person or has close friendship with hardly anyone as of late. Its odd that it is built on the very thing I hardly know of... It is not entirly bad but, when others opinoin of your self become the prime of who you think you are, then it becomes a problem.
So now I'm trying to step back, relax, and focus on things in my self that need to change. That actually reminds me of a quote from the "Dawn Treader", which we watched last night. It says:
"You must first defeat the darkness in your self, to defeat the darkness out there."
How true that is... I've been trying to change the world from a outside in perspective but, really you must change the world from a inside out perspective, changing your self first and then your self will act of the heart, and into the world with pure actions when you get your heart in the right place.
So really when I aviod the situations going on inside, I am avioding changing the world.
So in these next seasons while grasping the heart of God and grace for my self, I'm going to try not to aviod the situation that needs most attention, changing my self and just letting God lead me in who I really am.
I have to say even though I have not been spending time with God like I should, He surely does speak to you even if you don't speak to Him. He has spoke through blog post of friends, words of fellow chums and even the foolishness of the world!
His creation is so beautiful, and sometimes I find my self wishing I could literally take my bed place it in the middle of a field and sleep there.
I also find my self lately wishing for more time with friends and wanting to just be with people but, then after those long thoughts, and talks with invisible people and me realizing my real motives for wanting persons company is because I am either avioding a situation with my self or trying to aviod something God wants me to do.
Its really trying... and this time I find that its a situation with my self! Lately I've been wondering about my future, my past and if in the end, I will truely be happy with the life I've lived or atleast tried to live. I am finding that just now, in this year, I am actually discovering my real self and who I am, what my motives are, my beliefs etc.
So far I have found that my entire life is built on other people. Which for someone who hardly talks to anyone in person or has close friendship with hardly anyone as of late. Its odd that it is built on the very thing I hardly know of... It is not entirly bad but, when others opinoin of your self become the prime of who you think you are, then it becomes a problem.
So now I'm trying to step back, relax, and focus on things in my self that need to change. That actually reminds me of a quote from the "Dawn Treader", which we watched last night. It says:
"You must first defeat the darkness in your self, to defeat the darkness out there."
How true that is... I've been trying to change the world from a outside in perspective but, really you must change the world from a inside out perspective, changing your self first and then your self will act of the heart, and into the world with pure actions when you get your heart in the right place.
So really when I aviod the situations going on inside, I am avioding changing the world.
So in these next seasons while grasping the heart of God and grace for my self, I'm going to try not to aviod the situation that needs most attention, changing my self and just letting God lead me in who I really am.
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