Walking Out.

"If we are never broken we can never be made whole." JJ Heller-- It takes pain, to go the next step... to go deeper and to have better relationships. Be vulnerable even if it hurts! 


This was my status today on Facebook, the reason because I am going through this very step. Why the picture? Because this is me, my true self.. a person that I tried to smuggle away. At the core of my being, I am loud, spontaneous, and deep. I took risk, I was the one who got out in the middle of everything and did something crazy when no one would, I would dance in the grocery store, I would be the person to push people into doing something that they wouldn't do.... and now I wish I had that part of me back. 


I try to smuggle my true self with the excuse that I'm being more mature. Last year, I had lied to myself by excepting that being meek was being quiet.... and now I am beginning to understand the real meaning of that verse. Its not a outside action but, a heart action... that verse has nothing with me being quiet exactly but, with me being open to listen continuing to what He says. It has nothing to do with me being quiet! 


Another thing that came out of that time, is me being afraid to trust... its a generational curse. I am afraid of being vulnerable, I'm afraid of getting hurt. And honestly, I hate it... and I have decided I am going to try my hardest, along with Christ, to brake through. For this very thing is entering into my relationship with Christ...and its simply not exceptionable. 
So even though its hard, we have to step into vulnerability even if it hurts... because if we don't then we will forever be in a dull, shallow place. We have to take risks in order to live... its a no brainer! 


So I am walking out of the person I am now, and getting back to the real Kassie...the one full of freedom, Joy, wisdom, and all the other things that I have decided to hide from people because of the level of fear in my heart of getting hurt. It won't be easy but, I have to do this! Because I can't be a healthy leader, if I'm not out of the bondage of fear for myself. God is healing me of this, and He has called me into vulnerability... so be ready Kassie is coming out!